General Observations
- I was calm… too calm considering the trip away was to start channeling and releasing repressed anger.
- It melted when I touched it nicely… but this is the same loser slut that will worship for attention. It melts for anyone that shows it a bit of attention.
- It would have me believe that it chooses not to play with people when it is such an attention whore. More like it was rejected by those people.
- It seemed very protective of it’s phone.
- That it admitted what I’d thought… when I previously wanted it to find me a better cock it wasn’t motivated to do so as it didn’t want to replace itself because I was still fucking it.
What I enjoyed
- Being waited on for the whole time I was away.
- Having uninterrupted access to it, to do as I pleased or do nothing at all.
- Watching it drink from a bowl on the floor like the animal it is.
- Watching and hearing it choking on my piss – but it needs to improve it’s piss drinking skills so it can swallow every drop so we don’t need to faff about in the shower. I’d have it drink all my piss if it wasn’t going to go everywhere everytime.
- Denying it the sight of my body – it doesn’t deserve to see my beauty.
- Hurting it – I really enjoyed hurting it, it turned me on a lot and made me very wet. Particularly hitting it’s cock. Next time it needs to be bruised more.
- Denying it the proper taste and feel of my pussy – but me still being able to get off an cum from the experience.
- Having it cream my body – my skin was so soft after
- It struggling with being ass fucked by a big dildo – it gasping “i can’t breathe” and it’s life force being drained from it with every thrust… hot.
- The cattle prod – genuine fear and terror in it’s eyes and actions. This will be useful for behaviour correction.
- Talking about the 50 cock challenge… seeing that it isn’t looking forward to it at all. Wondering if it even has it in it to go through with it.
What I disliked
- Getting horny and wanting to use it to get off – sure I am getting off, but then so is it. It is honestly more than it deserves… it got my attention in a somewhat nice way, it benefited from smelling my scent and tasting my wetness through the cloth of my knickers.
- It had no sense of urgency when doing anything… it would think it acceptable to keep me waiting like my time isn’t precious… highly disrespectful.
- That it thought it was entitled to eat without asking permission.
- That it started slipping and forgetting to open the car door for me… clearly it’s mind was elsewhere.
Conflicts
- Getting turned on by hurting it, but it was not deserving of the required attention to get me off.
- Want to destroy it’s cock, but also want to fuck it.
- Wanting to let go, then holding back.
- Wanting to touch it, deny it touch.
- I like that it is pretty, but I also hate that it is pretty.
Things to work on
- “Soft” language – it is not a person, it deserves no pleasantries, just orders, directions and dressing downs. Language to reinforce it’s order in the hierarchy (the lowest of the low)
- Dehumanisation – seeing it more and more as a thing with no feelings, just an object for me (and others) to use and abuse as I see fit.
- Letting go
Other notes
- Thinking about it, I did struggle to fully let go somewhat as the location wasn’t as remote as required. It is a noisy bitch. The next place will be better… I want it’s sounds, screams and protests to wash over me like an intoxicating sound bath of sadism.
- The time away turned out to be more of an outlet for controlled sadism… which isn’t a bad thing. It was actually highly erotic for me… but not the raw unadulterated release I was expecting. So rather than tapping into anger it transpired that I tapped into sexuality instead… although I do not believe the two are mutually exclusive.
- A lot happened over the time we were together. I was a bit like a kid in a sweet shop going from one thing to another. I believe focusing on something for longer periods of time will make it more intense.
- Goading it into saying things that I know will make me angry will help.
- Without proof to the contrary, my views about situations and events are the truth. I will choose to believe my truth unless it can prove otherwise. Low trust in it’s integrity.
Summary
Overall a positive an erotic experience, the first of many such encounters, on a journey of exploration. As long as it can handle it.
It claims it wants to be good for me, well we will find out if that really is true. How devoted to the cause will it become?!