unfiltered thoughts, feelings, fantasies and experiences
Recently, over the last few weeks, I have definitely been feeling more uptight. Body tense, jaw clenched without even realising until I notice and then force myself to relax. Clearly something is pent up inside. Something needs to be released. I can’t actually tell if it is anger or sexual frustration… maybe both. I look … Read more
It cannot be trusted: I don’t even know why it continues to do these things when I see through them. it literally cannot help itself. it’s lies and bullshit always get found out in the end though. it must just confess all its lies and receive punishment for them, the punishment it deserves. But it … Read more
General Observations What I enjoyed What I disliked Conflicts Things to work on Other notes Summary Overall a positive an erotic experience, the first of many such encounters, on a journey of exploration. As long as it can handle it. It claims it wants to be good for me, well we will find out if … Read more
I miss anger… the feeling is a natural high. It feels like… something… everything. A feeling like no other… the most intense rush. Anger is fuel. Anger is erotic. The suppression of anger has been so unhealthy that I have lost myself. Release of anger will reignite my passion. Release of anger will cement my … Read more
As I become more sexually activated it increases my desire for denial and cbt. As my sexuality grows I want to take the sexuality of the slave and mess with it more. The pleasure should be all mine. The slave should not concern itself with it’s own pleasure, it should only help facilitate mine. Rather … Read more
I’ve noticed I have a tendency to dehumanise people in the following circumstances:
I think the fucked up things I could/ would do are not just limited to physical acts. I do definitely enjoy doing what I’d describe as at least mildly sadistic things already, particularly when it comes to cock and balls. I think this mainly centres around emasculation of my subject. I am interested to see … Read more
I don’t really know what I wouldn’t do given the right circumstances. If I genuinely stopped checking and managing myself internally through the lens of logic and composure